Noooooope!
Atthaporn Boonmakchuay from Thailand suffered one of the most gut-twisting animal attacks ever.
While using the toilet at his Chachoengsao home, the 38-year-old felt a sharp pain. Looking down, he realised that an 11-foot python was biting his penis.
Via local outlet Bangpakong News, the understandably panicked Atthaporn then called out for his wife and tied a rope around the snake’s head as he struggled to release himself from its fanged grip.
He secured the rope to the door in order to trap it in there with him before passing out.
Emergency services later transported him to the hospital where he was treated for significant blood loss.
Rescue crews at the scene had to extract the python from the toilet’s plumbing system. When it was eventually removed, the snake was freed back into the wild
In a similar story coming out of Thailand, a woman named Nareerat Sri-nhampong encountered an even bigger serpent in her toilet shortly after the Atthaporn incident.
Fortunately, she managed to escape the snake’s jaws through quick reactions. When animal rescue volunteers turned up, they spent over an hour completely dismantling Nareerat’s bathroom only to find it hiding in a crawl space beneath the floor tiles.
It weighed approximately 20 kilograms and measured over 4 metres in length.
Just when you think you’ve heard it all though, ex-truck mechanic Tim Friede has been injecting himself with snake venom for the past 18 years in a bid to build immunity.
This carefully handled experiment has single-handedly altered the course of antivenom production with his unique blood.
