Researchers at Stanford have finally given a name to something many women have been dealing with for years. It’s called mankeeping. And it’s helping explain why so many women are stepping away from dating altogether
Mankeeping describes the emotional labor women end up doing in heterosexual relationships. It goes beyond remembering birthdays or coordinating social plans. It means being your partner’s one-man support system. Managing his stress. Interpreting his moods. Holding his hand through feelings he won’t share with anyone else. All of it unpaid, unacknowledged, and often unreciprocated
The root of the issue is tied to what experts are calling the male loneliness epidemic. As more men report having fewer close friendships, romantic partners are expected to pick up the slack. Instead of processing with friends, many men offload everything onto the woman they’re dating. She becomes his entire emotional infrastructure.
Mankeeping Is Why More and More Women Are Done With Dating
Plenty of women are no longer interested in that dynamic. According to Pew Research, only 38 percent of single women in the US are currently looking for a relationship. Among single men, that number jumps to 61 percent. The gap says a lot. Women aren’t opting out of love. They’re opting out of being someone’s therapist with benefits.
The Guardian calls mankeeping a modern extension of emotional labor, one that turns a partner into a life coach. This isn’t about avoiding vulnerability. It’s about refusing to carry someone else’s emotional weight while getting little to nothing in return. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.
Some men have started opening up more, which is good. But too often, that openness lands in the lap of the person they’re sleeping with instead of a friend or a therapist. Vulnerability without boundaries can feel more like a burden than a breakthrough.
What women want isn’t complicated. They want shared effort. Mutual support. Emotional responsibility that doesn’t get passed off like a group project. When that doesn’t happen, they’re choosing solitude over stress. And they’re not apologizing for it.
Some women are called bitter for stepping back from dating. Others are labeled cold. What they’re really doing is protecting their capacity. The choice to stay single rarely comes from defeat. It comes from knowing exactly how much energy they have left to give. Until that imbalance shifts, more women will keep walking away. Being alone is easier than managing someone else’s emotional life.
